








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2022 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2219 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2177 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1928 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,085 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yes!Yes! | 58% | 103 |
| #2 | hiyah | 56% | 141 |
| #3 | emt | 53% | 373 |
| #4 | p0keyy | 51% | 297 |
| #5 | stanleythedog | 50% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emt | 1353 | 0.18 | 31 min |
| #2 | p0keyy | 966 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #3 | dumbo | 528 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | hiyah | 415 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | Yes!Yes! | 341 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roxo | +3.91 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | p0keyy | +3.65 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | Yes!Yes! | +2.62 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | emt | +1.71 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | stanleythedog | -0.18 | 52 | 57 |





