








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 42% |
| Smokes | 234 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 410 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 322 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $106,465 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dean0 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | f0rkknife | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | SquidNugget | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Hero!c_V!per | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Hellfire | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dean0 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | f0rkknife | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | SquidNugget | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Hero!c_V!per | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Hellfire | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hellfire | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Dean0 | 2 | 0.0333 |
| #3 | f0rkknife | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0rkknife | 78 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Hellfire | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | SquidNugget | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hero!c_V!per | 25 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #5 | Dean0 | 4 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SquidNugget | +3.60 | 82 | 36 |
| #2 | Hellfire | +2.78 | 69 | 49 |
| #3 | f0rkknife | -0.01 | 58 | 56 |
| #4 | Dean0 | -0.98 | 75 | 19 |
| #5 | Hero!c_V!per | -1.13 | 44 | 57 |





