








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3590 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2889 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3486 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2537 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $890,556 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joksteer | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Teukka. | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | Hezzuu | 50% | 72 |
| #4 | TuheroMasiina | 50% | 92 |
| #5 | Pyykinpesukone 90 | 46% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Noname | 41% | 128 |
| #9 | jaakko | 41% | 71 |
| #10 | Jyyner | 41% | 197 |
| #11 | Stifsbsu | 38% | 45 |
| #12 | nepsu | 38% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyyner | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Noname | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | TuheroMasiina | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | nepsu | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | paska läjä | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hezzuu | 360 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | paska läjä | 305 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Teukka. | 294 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #4 | Noname | 287 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | TuheroMasiina | 286 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyykinpesukone 90 | +3.20 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | TuheroMasiina | +2.58 | 83 | 73 |
| #3 | Castus | +0.46 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | Joksteer | -0.26 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | paska läjä | -0.32 | 79 | 58 |





