








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4255 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3316 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3045 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1779 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,493,159 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 609 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | paska läjä | 44% | 176 |
| #8 | crawiz | 43% | 56 |
| #9 | Vin Kiissel | 42% | 144 |
| #10 | TuheroMasiina | 41% | 81 |
| #11 | nepsu | 36% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyyner | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Vin Kiissel | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | TuheroMasiina | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | paska läjä | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Teukka. | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teukka. | 718 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #2 | Vin Kiissel | 339 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Castus | 318 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | paska läjä | 278 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | TuheroMasiina | 260 | 0.15 | 8 min |





