








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 848 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 484 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3892 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4607 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4668 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3887 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,739,071 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyykinpesukone 90 | 50% | 212 |
| #2 | TuheroMasiina | 49% | 203 |
| #3 | Teukka. | 47% | 142 |
| #4 | Vin Kiissel | 46% | 296 |
| #5 | crawiz | 45% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyyner | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Vin Kiissel | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | TuheroMasiina | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Hezzuu | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | jaakko | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hezzuu | 834 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | Teukka. | 823 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #3 | TuheroMasiina | 672 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #4 | Vin Kiissel | 626 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #5 | Castus | 594 | 0.16 | 17 min |





