








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3528 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3966 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1797 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2311 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,189,105 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | wrinkle | 61% | 51 |
| #6 | MannibalLecter | 60% | 42 |
| #7 | Dallas Dan | 59% | 29 |
| #8 | OgShu | 58% | 24 |
| #9 | mage | 54% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eric Wagner | 11 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | ting | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | mage | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | wrinkle | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | OgShu | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mage | 602 | 0.33 | 18 min |
| #2 | ting | 220 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | wrinkle | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | elizabeth taylor wears these | 90 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | MannibalLecter | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ting | +2.44 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | Eric Wagner | +1.94 | 51 | 38 |
| #3 | mage | +1.71 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | elizabeth taylor wears these | +1.70 | 59 | 74 |
| #5 | L0vell | +1.18 | 68 | 65 |





