








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3558 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5054 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6899 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4578 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,648,451 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SiftySwifty. [st] | 50% | 98 |
| #2 | biubiubiu | 50% | 104 |
| #3 | spirritt_level99 | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | 🅼🅰🅽🅶🅾 | 43% | 512 |
| #5 | 𝔻OG𝕄ANthe𝔹OSS | 43% | 35 |





