








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1553 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1311 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1421 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 931 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,903 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ peanut | 62% | 55 |
| #2 | Xerwell | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | annekcm | 58% | 55 |
| #4 | Cheep Heep | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | ✪ CoachAnt | 57% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ peanut | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | annekcm | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ✪ CoachAnt | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Wuffles | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | ooze | 2 | 0.0061 |





