








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1312 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1248 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 664 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,591 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeneTheThird | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | seilliG | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Я машина | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | BK | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | titan101 | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | __GET_JACKED__ | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | Zero | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Buoy | 46% | 13 |
| #10 | Hanosandy | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | DLOTZ | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeneTheThird | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | seilliG | 2 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | __GET_JACKED__ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | DLOTZ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | titan101 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | __GET_JACKED__ | 205 | 0.39 | 6 min |
| #2 | DLOTZ | 83 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zero | 68 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | titan101 | 57 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | seilliG | 40 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Я машина | +3.84 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | seilliG | +3.05 | 95 | 81 |
| #3 | NeneTheThird | +2.91 | 89 | 42 |
| #4 | Buoy | +2.17 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | DLOTZ | +1.88 | 65 | 71 |





