








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 698 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 27 | 4% |
| Smokes | 211 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 66 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 394 | 56% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,618 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MCG0 | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | NubsiePie | 48% | 25 |
| #7 | NubsiePie <3 | 17% | 6 |
| #8 | Lynx ♥ | 11% | 9 |
| #9 | Butterwhales | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NubsiePie | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Lynx ❤ | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Lynx ♥ | 2 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | MCG0 | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NubsiePie | 96 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | I3J0RN | 55 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | MCG0 | 39 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lynx ❤ | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | NubsiePie <3 | 17 | 0.18 | 1 min |





