








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2301 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2899 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1730 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2637 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,514 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 84% | 45 |
| #2 | wealthy | 81% | 27 |
| #3 | Hex: Im Fagert | 79% | 57 |
| #4 | JRad | 71% | 24 |
| #5 | known entity | 68% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | chobro | 50% | 38 |
| #12 | wdog | 48% | 44 |
| #13 | mdog | 47% | 36 |
| #14 | artey | 43% | 56 |
| #15 | ASH | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hex: Im Fagert | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | artey | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | JRad | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | known entity | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Noname | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LF WA State Bestie | 436 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | suds | 157 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Noname | 150 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | artey | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | yalenzz | 129 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wdog | +4.81 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | wealthy | +3.37 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | Noname | +1.85 | 77 | 68 |
| #4 | the player | +1.54 | 57 | 73 |
| #5 | suds | +1.53 | 83 | 54 |





