








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 203 | 33% |
| Smokes | 151 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 131 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 125 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,500 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuka | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | mmmmmm | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | minion | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | BastíN | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Renan | 65% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | mmmmmm | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | minion | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | BastíN | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Renan | 65% | 20 |
| #6 | ✪ Han Brasileiro | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BastíN | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Renan | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Fuka | 3 | 0.0517 |
| #4 | mmmmmm | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmmm | 100 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | minion | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Renan | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | BastíN | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ Han Brasileiro | 11 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmmm | +2.08 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Zé | +0.91 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | Renan | +0.86 | 76 | 54 |
| #4 | Fuka | -0.32 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | BastíN | -0.37 | 75 | 57 |





