








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2135 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1765 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1702 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1928 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,531 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thicc.God | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Vazonite | 55% | 103 |
| #3 | Oh man, not again | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Androias | society.gg | 47% | 130 |
| #5 | Fredrik | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thicc.God | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Vazonite | 55% | 103 |
| #3 | Oh man, not again | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Androias | society.gg | 47% | 130 |
| #5 | Fredrik | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Androias | society.gg | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Vazonite | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Androias | society.gg | 98 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | Vazonite | 67 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Oh man, not again | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Thicc.God | 21 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fredrik | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vazonite | +1.73 | 84 | 47 |
| #2 | Hiig0 | +1.09 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Oh man, not again | +0.34 | 59 | 54 |
| #4 | Thicc.God | +0.31 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | Androias | society.gg | -0.86 | 56 | 48 |





