








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8420 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5066 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5736 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3932 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $928,022 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VictoriaLuxe | 72% | 39 |
| #2 | -blizz- | 58% | 66 |
| #3 | Fruits | 57% | 506 |
| #4 | Psycho | 53% | 184 |
| #5 | Crazy | 52% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fruits | 20 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Psycho | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Crazy | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | -blizz- | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | StormX | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fruits | 1268 | 0.12 | 30 min |
| #2 | Psycho | 616 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | StormX | 372 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | Crazy | 322 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | -blizz- | 202 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mac | +1.88 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | Fruits | +1.56 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | Crazy | -0.02 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | StormX | -0.25 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | Odys | -0.96 | 81 | 55 |





