








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 565 matches | ||
| Wingman | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6169 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3174 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5196 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5075 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,005,022 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cum | 72% | 50 |
| #2 | Vatne | 68% | 62 |
| #3 | -repsak | 62% | 71 |
| #4 | -nahoj | 58% | 139 |
| #5 | cj | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cum | +9.75 | 100 | 51 |
| #2 | -nahoj | +2.84 | 94 | 53 |
| #3 | roseN | +2.51 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | cj | +1.56 | 88 | 52 |
| #5 | juhlぷ | +1.35 | 73 | 63 |





