








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 881 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 617 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3365 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3709 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4461 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4496 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,701,984 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 759 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kanzel | 68% | 62 |
| #2 | -nahoj | 58% | 139 |
| #3 | -repsak | 54% | 95 |
| #4 | nika | 49% | 95 |
| #5 | microwavedfetus | 49% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kanzel | 68% | 62 |
| #2 | -nahoj | 58% | 139 |
| #3 | -repsak | 54% | 95 |
| #4 | nika | 49% | 95 |
| #5 | microwavedfetus | 49% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -nahoj | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | nika | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | -repsak | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | microwavedfetus | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | kanzel | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -repsak | 246 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | -nahoj | 166 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | nika | 151 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | kanzel | 98 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | microwavedfetus | 89 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -nahoj | +3.45 | 94 | 55 |
| #2 | microwavedfetus | +2.83 | 95 | 56 |
| #3 | Vatne | +0.78 | 87 | 50 |
| #4 | nika | -1.46 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | -repsak | -1.49 | 70 | 62 |





