








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 576 | 29% |
| Smokes | 426 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 481 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 473 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $101,543 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static_Inner_Flow | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | 'KM' | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | shaundw | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Kaybee =) | 63% | 24 |
| #5 | Zerpherr | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Zerpherr | 62% | 13 |
| #6 | own4g3 | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | FabulousCookieCat | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | Bavarias | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | Seath | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static_Inner_Flow | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | own4g3 | 1 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaybee =) | 163 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | 'KM' | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | shaundw | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Static_Inner_Flow | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zerpherr | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'KM' | +3.45 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | own4g3 | +2.37 | 75 | 79 |
| #3 | Gilbert | +2.01 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | Seath | +1.38 | 75 | 77 |
| #5 | Static_Inner_Flow | +0.99 | 68 | 72 |





