








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2479 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1642 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1689 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1706 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $800,129 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ Laura ♛ | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | UnterrDe | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | Goemon | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | =[Bl4ckF1r3]= | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | Talahon | 50% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | .silas | 44% | 179 |
| #11 | Marichino | 36% | 58 |
| #12 | k3ppi | 35% | 119 |
| #13 | The Tedelbremse | 32% | 28 |
| #14 | LSReh | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .silas | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | The Tedelbremse | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Talahon | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | k3ppi | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Mr_Bubatz | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .silas | 740 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #2 | k3ppi | 587 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #3 | Mr_Bubatz | 243 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Talahon | 218 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | King_ismet2001 | 172 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Bubatz | +2.45 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | King_ismet2001 | +1.83 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | Talahon | +1.51 | 56 | 72 |
| #4 | Moon ☾ | +0.99 | 73 | 52 |
| #5 | gaymorit | +0.11 | 56 | 56 |





