








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 868 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2356 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1966 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1597 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,472 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conway Twitty | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | zXISEEYOUBROXz | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ✪Shaufew✪ | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Bring back the great Crusade | 55% | 88 |
| #5 | bluebutton | 51% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | zXISEEYOUBROXz | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ✪Shaufew✪ | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Bring back the great Crusade | 55% | 88 |
| #5 | bluebutton | 51% | 163 |
| #6 | Plantation Owner | 47% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluebutton | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Bring back the great Crusade | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | ✪Shaufew✪ | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Plantation Owner | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Conway Twitty | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluebutton | 315 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Bring back the great Crusade | 192 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪Shaufew✪ | 137 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Plantation Owner | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | zXISEEYOUBROXz | 102 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bring back the great Crusade | +2.67 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | Plantation Owner | +1.82 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | zXISEEYOUBROXz | +1.27 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | bluebutton | +0.64 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪Shaufew✪ | +0.57 | 74 | 54 |





