








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 685 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1031 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 865 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1022 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $401,865 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obi-Wan Canblowme | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Sprusse | 52% | 93 |
| #3 | Podium | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Young Harry | 49% | 109 |
| #5 | 垃圾箱 -iwnw- | 46% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obi-Wan Canblowme | +3.41 | 64 | 74 |
| #2 | 垃圾箱 -iwnw- | +1.71 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | Sprusse | +1.51 | 65 | 68 |
| #4 | Young Harry | +1.33 | 79 | 73 |
| #5 | Podium | +1.16 | 78 | 66 |





