








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5872 | 46% |
| Smokes | 3611 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1844 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1369 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,981 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Ghost | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | myone | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | hub | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | kev0 | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 垃圾箱 -iwnw- | 871 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #2 | Young Harry | 738 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #3 | Sprusse | 511 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #4 | YaoYao | 431 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | ColaBearr | 156 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rotten Eggs | +2.70 | 61 | 56 |
| #2 | 垃圾箱 -iwnw- | +1.65 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | Young Harry | +1.39 | 77 | 73 |
| #4 | Sprusse | +0.84 | 64 | 66 |
| #5 | I got the reset | +0.72 | 72 | 53 |





