








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2757 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1823 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1458 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1189 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,656 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | myone | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Sprusse | 51% | 111 |
| #4 | Young Harry | 51% | 191 |
| #5 | Podium | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YaoYao | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Young Harry | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ♥ | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Mama Japril 6x | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EThoS | 1321 | 0.41 | 34 min |
| #2 | Young Harry | 777 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #3 | YaoYao | 436 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sprusse | 432 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | myone | 108 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 垃圾箱 -iwnw- | +1.70 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Young Harry | +1.23 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | Podium | +0.39 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | Sprusse | +0.17 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | EThoS | -0.44 | 57 | 73 |





