








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,112 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 716 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1144 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1166 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1086 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,128 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fARS DRENG ツ | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | DjBananaMan | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | FatimaKlappstuhlTV | 64% | 53 |
| #4 | PP | 63% | 24 |
| #5 | Riekepigen | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stev998 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | DjBanana | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | DjBananaMan | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | FatimaKlappstuhlTV | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | fARS DRENG ツ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FatimaKlappstuhlTV | 244 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Stev998 | 225 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | DjBanana | 191 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | DjBananaMan | 77 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | fARS DRENG ツ | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjBananaMan | +4.62 | 71 | 72 |
| #2 | PP | +3.11 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | DjBanana | +3.04 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | Bal1le | +1.72 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | fARS DRENG ツ | +1.63 | 68 | 76 |





