








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1126 | 27% |
| Smokes | 954 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 796 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $648,765 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sheepington | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Fortnite Catgirl | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | Steven Seagal | 45% | 74 |
| #7 | sksa_ | 43% | 46 |
| #8 | Hyuu | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sksa_ | 10 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Fortnite Catgirl | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Sheepington | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Steven Seagal | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Koenfu Panda | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steven Seagal | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Fortnite Catgirl | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | sksa_ | 29 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Sheepington | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Baltheer | 22 | 0.08 | 1 min |





