








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1369 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1649 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2040 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1274 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,306,172 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1000 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | discat | 62% | 91 |
| #2 | Bozzzaa | 61% | 208 |
| #3 | FlammyBizzle | 60% | 116 |
| #4 | ImJustLooney | 60% | 87 |
| #5 | jiggaboo | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | discat | 62% | 91 |
| #2 | Bozzzaa | 61% | 208 |
| #3 | FlammyBizzle | 60% | 116 |
| #4 | ImJustLooney | 60% | 87 |
| #5 | jiggaboo | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bozzzaa | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | FlammyBizzle | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | discat | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ImJustLooney | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | jiggaboo | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bozzzaa | 556 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | discat | 372 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | FlammyBizzle | 363 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | ImJustLooney | 168 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | jiggaboo | 71 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jiggaboo | +4.74 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | discat | +2.60 | 84 | 72 |
| #3 | Dxve | +2.01 | 67 | 51 |
| #4 | FlammyBizzle | +0.76 | 72 | 63 |
| #5 | Bozzzaa | +0.16 | 48 | 66 |





