








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 140 | 23% |
| Smokes | 183 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 172 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 120 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,074 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Candle | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Perä_carry | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Pkotka | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | Oink | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | JohanneS | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotPotti | 2 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Monman10 | 1 | 0.0169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KusiHege | 66 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jockeri | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | PotPotti | 41 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pkotka | 21 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | JohanneS | 21 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohanneS | +3.75 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | Oink | +2.87 | 94 | 43 |
| #3 | Jockeri | +1.52 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | Perä_carry | +1.18 | 45 | 41 |
| #5 | Pkotka | +0.99 | 25 | 67 |





