








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 127 | 38% |
| Smokes | 130 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 20 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 56 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $34,630 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cameron | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Dr. Tilt | 47% | 47 |
| #3 | Dr Crust Lust | 44% | 48 |
| #4 | Mikel | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | zzzzzzzzz FF already... | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mikel | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | zzzzzzzzz FF already... | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Afternoon Banana | 40% | 48 |
| #7 | AC | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | speedstyle | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speedstyle | 2 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Afternoon Banana | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Cameron | 1 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Afternoon Banana | 155 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Dr. Tilt | 117 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dr Crust Lust | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | AC | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | zzzzzzzzz FF already... | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzzzzzzzz FF already... | +6.43 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Mikel | +5.55 | 58 | 18 |
| #3 | speedstyle | +4.32 | 74 | 22 |
| #4 | Dr Crust Lust | +3.48 | 31 | 53 |
| #5 | Dr. Tilt | +2.53 | 29 | 55 |





