








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1008 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6599 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6251 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2834 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4808 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,236,337 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 326 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | MiesterZ | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | pHuK | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Soda | 56% | 43 |
| #5 | bean | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MiesterZ | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | pHuK | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Soda | 56% | 43 |
| #5 | bean | 53% | 47 |
| #6 | TaiuSofHebdeN | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bean | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | m | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m | 208 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #2 | MiesterZ | 135 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | pHuK | 107 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | bean | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Soda | 72 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiesterZ | +4.04 | 48 | 63 |
| #2 | m | +2.31 | 53 | 66 |
| #3 | Soda | +2.16 | 60 | 57 |
| #4 | VoCab | +0.68 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | bean | -0.30 | 69 | 52 |





