








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1023 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4206 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4411 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3770 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3795 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $742,814 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoCab | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Nico | 63% | 40 |
| #3 | crIsbeEE | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Tony | 57% | 75 |
| #5 | ✗ LaYzombiE | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ølting 𝟒❷𝟶 | 55% | 78 |
| #9 | Super Beef | 54% | 35 |
| #10 | -guts | 52% | 21 |
| #11 | Luke | 50% | 72 |
| #12 | Bardinez | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SUPREME]arkijE | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Tony | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Nico | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Bardinez | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Luke | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SUPREME]arkijE | 618 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Tony | 282 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ølting 𝟒❷𝟶 | 239 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Luke | 208 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nico | 174 | 0.20 | 4 min |





