








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1476 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1783 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1537 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 465 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,477,314 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | [WestLAN] GiraffeKOOOO | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | Zenome | 59% | 170 |
| #4 | Artorias | 57% | 289 |
| #5 | JaX | 53% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [WestLAN] GiraffeKOOOO | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | Zenome | 59% | 170 |
| #4 | Artorias | 57% | 289 |
| #5 | JaX | 53% | 212 |
| #6 | Shafi616 | 47% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaX | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Zenome | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Artorias | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | [WestLAN] GiraffeKOOOO | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Shafi616 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artorias | 642 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Zenome | 486 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | JaX | 261 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Billy | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shafi616 | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenome | +1.51 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | Billy | +1.35 | 75 | 77 |
| #3 | Artorias | +1.33 | 57 | 65 |
| #4 | JaX | +0.63 | 62 | 57 |
| #5 | tideS | +0.57 | 82 | 39 |





