








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2270 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3339 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2579 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2224 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,016 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TheMoLekh | 59% | 17 |
| #6 | JaX | 59% | 155 |
| #7 | [WestLAN] GiraffeKOOOO | 57% | 42 |
| #8 | Shafi616 | 56% | 16 |
| #9 | MadSkillzBruh | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaX | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | tideS | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Artorias | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Billy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | [WestLAN] GiraffeKOOOO | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artorias | 412 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | JaX | 208 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | tideS | 195 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Billy | 115 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | MadSkillzBruh | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |





