








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 319 | 15% |
| Smokes | 989 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 694 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 150 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $246,598 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheMoLekh | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Shafi616 | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Artorias | 61% | 80 |
| #4 | tideS | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | JaX | 58% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Artorias | 61% | 80 |
| #4 | tideS | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | JaX | 58% | 59 |
| #6 | Zenome | 57% | 42 |
| #7 | MadSkillzBruh | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artorias | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | JaX | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Zenome | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artorias | 175 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Zenome | 134 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | JaX | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | tideS | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | MadSkillzBruh | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Artorias | +1.13 | 56 | 63 |
| #2 | Zenome | +1.05 | 71 | 73 |
| #3 | [WestLAN] GiraffeKOOOO | +0.90 | 59 | 42 |
| #4 | JaX | +0.33 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | tideS | +0.22 | 82 | 41 |





