








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7252 | 40% |
| Smokes | 5034 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2983 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2642 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,394,586 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beamish | 69% | 52 |
| #2 | 𓆰TachoPayus𓆪 | 68% | 74 |
| #3 | Gamani | 63% | 70 |
| #4 | sum® | 62% | 90 |
| #5 | Povee- | 59% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mankarlit0s | 59% | 110 |
| #7 | weedy | 56% | 34 |
| #8 | Sr. NaMo19 | 54% | 71 |
| #9 | Arigato | 51% | 37 |
| #10 | Yak1ro | 50% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sum® | 35 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Yak1ro | 26 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Sr. NaMo19 | 26 | 0.0174 |
| #4 | Gamani | 13 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | Mankarlit0s | 10 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yak1ro | 620 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | Sr. NaMo19 | 422 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #3 | sum® | 412 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | Gamani | 306 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | Mankarlit0s | 297 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weedy | +2.03 | 74 | 73 |
| #2 | ramimirez | +2.00 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | sum® | +1.77 | 74 | 73 |
| #4 | Beamish | +1.75 | 84 | 53 |
| #5 | Mankarlit0s | +1.36 | 60 | 63 |





