










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3209 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2765 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2851 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2725 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,429 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aelor | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | kev | 73% | 40 |
| #3 | Oatz | 69% | 58 |
| #4 | Clover ❤❤ | 68% | 59 |
| #5 | Grimblee | 66% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sippin Juice 4 Lyfe | 464 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | ♡Boni♡ | 386 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #3 | peewee | 381 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Static | 221 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | Clover ❤❤ | 209 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Static | +2.54 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | Aluminum | +2.51 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | Grimblee | +2.36 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | Clover ❤❤ | +1.44 | 83 | 69 |
| #5 | peewee | +1.06 | 73 | 62 |





