








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1043 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2451 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1907 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1701 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,368,260 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icy Rex | 49% | 134 |
| #2 | Cool WaNg WaNGanG | 49% | 169 |
| #3 | Nigel Thornberry | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | tont | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | Funky Frank | 40% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icy Rex | 49% | 134 |
| #2 | Cool WaNg WaNGanG | 49% | 169 |
| #3 | Nigel Thornberry | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | tont | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | Funky Frank | 40% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icy Rex | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Cool WaNg WaNGanG | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | tont | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Nigel Thornberry | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Funky Frank | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icy Rex | 316 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Funky Frank | 216 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cool WaNg WaNGanG | 191 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | tont | 91 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nigel Thornberry | 81 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tont | +0.86 | 56 | 55 |
| #2 | A-Train | +0.54 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Icy Rex | +0.46 | 41 | 74 |
| #4 | Nigel Thornberry | -0.27 | 60 | 47 |
| #5 | Funky Frank | -0.37 | 59 | 74 |





