








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 684 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1721 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1136 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1374 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,693 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | A-Train | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | Cool WaNg WaNGanG | 46% | 126 |
| #5 | Abob728 | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | Funky Frank | 43% | 76 |
| #7 | tont | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cool WaNg WaNGanG | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | tont | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Funky Frank | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Abob728 | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | A-Train | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Funky Frank | 225 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Icy Rex | 182 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cool WaNg WaNGanG | 146 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | A-Train | 115 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | tont | 79 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A-Train | +0.76 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | tont | +0.59 | 58 | 56 |
| #3 | Icy Rex | +0.48 | 34 | 79 |
| #4 | Funky Frank | +0.42 | 66 | 77 |
| #5 | Nigel Thornberry | +0.01 | 62 | 44 |





