










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5341 | 45% |
| Smokes | 3476 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1445 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1612 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,786 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Spazz シ | 47% | 85 |
| #8 | cotu | 46% | 84 |
| #9 | AZ19999 | 45% | 199 |
| #10 | rhoost | 44% | 139 |
| #11 | Challenger | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AZ19999 | 476 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kobeyachi | 474 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | rhoost | 260 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Spazz シ | 207 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | cotu | 106 | 0.06 | 2 min |





