








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1184 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1976 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2323 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1863 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,248 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve McDeag | 107 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | ak3d4.gaming | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | face | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | SirLunchALot | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | der Hesse | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |





