








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Wingman | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2545 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2483 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5842 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 3164 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,059,917 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | face | 58% | 126 |
| #2 | der Hesse | 54% | 157 |
| #3 | face | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Freakyy | 50% | 68 |
| #5 | Joker3060 | 50% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steve McDeag | 240 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | face | 236 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | ak3d4.gaming | 143 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Freakyy | 128 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | der Hesse | 65 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thorsten Wurst | +4.09 | 57 | 62 |
| #2 | Freakyy | +2.64 | 57 | 70 |
| #3 | Steve McDeag | +1.99 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | der Hesse | +0.21 | 36 | 56 |
| #5 | SirLunchALot | -0.08 | 46 | 57 |





