








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3505 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3592 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5302 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2177 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,550,447 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hollering at your mama | 45% | 94 |
| #2 | Chatmandu | 44% | 48 |
| #3 | KeKe | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | akira | 41% | 214 |
| #5 | Lazy | 40% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KeKe | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | akira | 41% | 214 |
| #5 | Lazy | 40% | 113 |
| #6 | BeeDoo | 37% | 59 |
| #7 | blind and deaf | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akira | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | hollering at your mama | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | KeKe | 9 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Lazy | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | BeeDoo | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeeDoo | 232 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Lazy | 182 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | akira | 148 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | hollering at your mama | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chatmandu | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hollering at your mama | +1.61 | 58 | 42 |
| #2 | Chatmandu | +1.23 | 47 | 19 |
| #3 | KeKe | +0.25 | 44 | 27 |
| #4 | Lazy | -0.02 | 41 | 42 |
| #5 | .blackrabbitrabid | -0.72 | 38 | 58 |





