








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4293 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4820 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3163 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2215 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,545 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞sJapps✞ | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | kr3a7ur | 76% | 25 |
| #3 | David Goggins | 62% | 50 |
| #4 | kaergaardeN | 62% | 164 |
| #5 | spahurb | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kaergaardeN | 62% | 164 |
| #5 | spahurb | 41% | 29 |
| #6 | Falc0n | 37% | 59 |
| #7 | SM1L3 | 34% | 58 |
| #8 | maestro | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaergaardeN | 18 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | David Goggins | 16 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | spahurb | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | SM1L3 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | maestro | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaergaardeN | 590 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | SM1L3 | 201 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | David Goggins | 199 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Falc0n | 195 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✞sJapps✞ | 84 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakob | +1.87 | 71 | 74 |
| #2 | ✞sJapps✞ | +1.41 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | kr3a7ur | +1.36 | 83 | 47 |
| #4 | kaergaardeN | +0.92 | 81 | 70 |
| #5 | Falc0n | +0.54 | 86 | 66 |





