








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 251 matches | ||
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8067 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8239 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8181 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7714 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,916 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | white | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | Anon | 57% | 89 |
| #3 | gecieros.- | 57% | 125 |
| #4 | Zoneerrr | 53% | 93 |
| #5 | EgoX | 52% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaggR666 | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | ᠌ fodi | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | quietbala | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | EgoX | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Zoneerrr | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EgoX | 464 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | gecieros.- | 381 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | LaggR666 | 291 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | quietbala | 237 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Anon | 215 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | white | +3.68 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Danhuel | +1.53 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Zoneerrr | +1.28 | 77 | 53 |
| #4 | gecieros.- | +0.77 | 91 | 69 |
| #5 | EgoX | +0.32 | 70 | 70 |





