








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4067 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3252 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3687 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2602 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $956,528 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Unknown ❤ | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Crow | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | AsiliC | 49% | 109 |
| #4 | ✪ Supzy ❤ | 48% | 95 |
| #5 | wheezypz | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | YOUMADBEAN™ | 35% | 26 |
| #15 | YOUMADCALLME | 29% | 24 |
| #16 | Beef | 28% | 18 |
| #17 | YOUMADBRO™ | 28% | 54 |
| #18 | YOUMADDUTTE™ | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Supzy ❤ | 36 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | AsiliC | 21 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Crow | 15 | 0.0181 |
| #4 | ✪ Unknown ❤ | 10 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | bad aim | 7 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AsiliC | 455 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | YOUMADBRO™ | 344 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✪ Supzy ❤ | 280 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | YOUMADBEAN™ | 132 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Unknown ❤ | 119 | 0.18 | 3 min |





