








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2137 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2835 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1968 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1896 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,483,339 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxxconcussion | 41% | 181 |
| #2 | Nick Deny | 34% | 44 |
| #3 | The Cock Gobbler | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxxconcussion | 41% | 181 |
| #2 | Nick Deny | 34% | 44 |
| #3 | The Cock Gobbler | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxxconcussion | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxxconcussion | 454 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Nick Deny | 64 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | The Cock Gobbler | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPA_ | +0.87 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | The Cock Gobbler | -1.63 | 53 | 57 |
| #3 | xxxconcussion | -2.39 | 55 | 56 |
| #4 | Nick Deny | -2.82 | 41 | 50 |





