








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1053 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2363 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1904 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 854 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,170,744 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Higgley Armstrong | 64% | 73 |
| #2 | WesleyK | 55% | 149 |
| #3 | Here to derank | 54% | 90 |
| #4 | Pyro | 52% | 216 |
| #5 | KIAEddZ | 49% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | WesleyK | 55% | 149 |
| #3 | Here to derank | 54% | 90 |
| #4 | Pyro | 52% | 216 |
| #5 | KIAEddZ | 49% | 203 |
| #6 | Google Slides | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyro | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | WesleyK | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Google Slides | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | KIAEddZ | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | Here to derank | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyro | 486 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Here to derank | 340 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | WesleyK | 337 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Higgley Armstrong | 204 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Google Slides | 165 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyro | +3.05 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | WesleyK | +2.55 | 88 | 56 |
| #3 | Higgley Armstrong | +1.83 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | Here to derank | -0.17 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | Penis Carter Jr. | -0.96 | 80 | 60 |





