








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 723 | 14% |
| Smokes | 962 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1749 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1765 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,689 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ATP | Tony | 12 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | SOYMILK FOREVER!!!!!!!! | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Predator Agent | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Willy Wortel | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | lingling | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Predator Agent | 138 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | SOYMILK FOREVER!!!!!!!! | 108 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | Der Lokus | 76 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | ATP | Tony | 75 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Willy Wortel | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markuseg | +3.02 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | Der Lokus | +2.78 | 46 | 69 |
| #3 | Willy Wortel | +2.57 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | Barely Alive | +1.47 | 49 | 48 |
| #5 | lingling | -0.21 | 24 | 49 |





