








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2568 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1668 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1957 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1482 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,019 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loqi | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | rEDU | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | The Dude Abides | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Jøss | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | K A I | 49% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | epitome | 475 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kelran | 344 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | Jøss | 140 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | NullY | 111 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #5 | K A I | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loqi | +2.36 | 85 | 73 |
| #2 | K A I | +1.73 | 80 | 53 |
| #3 | Kelran | +1.39 | 83 | 85 |
| #4 | Simen | +0.95 | 85 | 65 |
| #5 | rEDU | -0.17 | 86 | 37 |





