








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1730 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3385 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1582 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3899 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,728,750 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Rambro | 49% | 111 |
| #13 | Sarmishra | 48% | 93 |
| #14 | InderDace | 48% | 54 |
| #15 | GC | 46% | 46 |
| #16 | Ligma | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPETSNAZ | 39 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | mikejbe9 | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | kimi ka londa | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Rambro | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Sarmishra | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPETSNAZ | 390 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | kimi ka londa | 242 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | TYSON_32 | 114 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | GC | 114 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rambro | 113 | 0.05 | 3 min |





