








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3950 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3252 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2239 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 964 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $646,280 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Silly Sully | 46% | 26 |
| #10 | Believe #ConsistentlyAverage | 43% | 46 |
| #11 | Jaspo | 43% | 51 |
| #12 | Anna Everdeen | 42% | 26 |
| #13 | eds_ | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EA17 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | PUNISHER | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | iceballs | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Silly Sully | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | eds_ | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaspo | 165 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | iceballs | 160 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | duy | 123 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Believe #ConsistentlyAverage | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Silly Sully | 93 | 0.16 | 2 min |





