








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2680 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2392 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1618 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1744 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,877 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tardus | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | LarK- | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | J a y K | 72% | 46 |
| #4 | Knotti | 71% | 14 |
| #5 | HM11 | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | うらはら | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | J a y K | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ma4ve | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Tesco self checkout machine | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Cydriac | 3 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | what its based on | +5.28 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | zzep | +4.44 | 93 | 54 |
| #3 | Knotti | +3.35 | 73 | 81 |
| #4 | J a y K | +1.99 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | Bitter patern | +1.24 | 68 | 72 |





